WHAT WE HEARD:

Ben Midgette is the EWP Sales Manager for LP Building Products. While in his youth, like so many growing teens and younger adults who were raised in the church, Ben experienced a season of risk and rebellion. However, God protected him during that season and eventually, he returned his life to Christ. Which helped him build a marriage on a foundation of faith. That wasn’t the end of the story. Ben’s passion to be a driven leader translated into extreme workaholism. For a while, career came first, even before God. Even after reprioritizing and putting God first, his career was still a close second. Then, one day there was a moment in a men’s leadership Bible study, God revealed His plans for Ben’s family, which would lead to another reprioritization.

Ben wanted to invest in his kids, which prompted him to create a “right of passage” moment to mark the transition to manhood and womanhood. Ben’s journey through adolescence was directed toward risks and challenges. As a result, he wanted to provide a healthy option for his kids to be pushed. He and his wife decided on a one-on-one dad experience at age 16, and an international mission trip with mom post senior-year.

The criteria for the “right of passage” moment is:

1. Something that he and his child work towards together (example: scuba diving, which requires a season of learning and preparation before the pinnacle experience.)  For his oldest, Camron, who is now a sophomore at UT Knoxville, it was a seven-day hiking trip. Prolonging the ramp-up time enhances the shared joy of the experience once it arrives and makes it all the more memorable.
2. Investment from others through words of affirmation and letters of admonition to pour into the life of his developing teen. As parents, it’s one thing to encourage and affirm your children, but when other trusted peers and adults do the same, it reinforces the message and enhances the experience.

WHAT IT MEANS:

Through this whole process, Ben experienced an unforeseen outcome. He learned as much, if not more, from his son through this first right of passage experience. Many men might resonate with this idea for their sons, but what about their daughters? Ben just completed his trip with his 16-year-old daughter. The difference between Ben’s desire for adventure and his daughter’s lack of it prompted, Ben, to know God better as he learned to meet his daughter where she is at in the way that our Heavenly Father does with us. It was an entirely different lesson, but Ben learned just as much and was able to invest in his daughter as much as he was in his son.

It’s all about investment and valuing relationship. At work we have goals, ROI’s and strategic emphases. We plan, schedule, budget and work hard to keep each of our areas of output always moving in the right direction. We need that same level of intentionality in parenting.

WHAT TO DO NEXT:

The best advice Ben has ever received: Don’t waste your trials. We can learn as much, if not more, from difficulty and adversity. Don’t fast forward through hardship because it really is God’s megaphone to speak loudly and also deeply into our lives.

Then as a final thought. Your kids are going to be led by someone. Is it going to be you or someone else? You get to choose. It doesn’t have to be a milestone moment or a big one-on-one trip but kids need parents who will not only love them, but also lead them.

MLN BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

Don’t Miss It: Parent Every Week Like It Counts by Reggie Joiner & Kristen Ivy

You know what your kid is going through is just a phase, but what does that really mean?

Don’t Miss It reminds parents that phases are not just periods of time to be survived, but opportunities to be maximized. It gives parents a simple strategy for parenting every week like it counts. It can help them reprioritize their time with their kids; it may even change how they see their kids and themselves. Learn more.