Now celebrating their 17th year of marriage, Chris and Jenni Graebe have paid close attention to the rhythms which have led to successful marriages around them, and God has called them to share these helpful insights in their new book, The Rhythm of Us.

Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts. It is God’s foundation for bringing new life into the world and building strong families. When things are going well, our marriage with our spouse is fulfilling, edifying, and life-giving. Each spouse puts the other’s needs before their own, serving one another as they grow closer to God. 

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up. 
– Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 

But in practice, like most things in this life, marriage also comes with plenty of challenges. After the honeymoon phase of marriage, as life gets busy and maybe a bit mundane, staying deeply in love takes some intentionality. What can couples do to keep growing in love with one another… and with God? 

Neither Chris nor Jenni grew up in households with perfect marriages, but both gleaned examples of “what to do” and “what not to do” both before and after their own marriage. The couple met at church in their early twenties when the pastor asked the congregation to greet their neighbors. The Graebes met while worshiping God and have continued to pursue Him in their marriage. While working on their own spiritual development podcast, Jenni’s study of the spiritual discipline of crafting a rule of life inspired a new way to think about God-honoring marriage. After envisioning the spouses they wanted to be in Christ, the couple could intentionally plan the spiritual and relational practices they needed to build into their lives in order to reach that ideal. 

You’ve probably heard it said that a successful marriage requires striking the right balance. But most of us juggling family, work, church, and other responsibilities will find that total balance is difficult to reach – and even harder to maintain – as unexpected circumstances and changes arise. Instead, we could aim to find rhythm, like a couple dancing together in time. 

The Graebes found that five “rhythms” help to strengthen Godly relationships:

1. Speaking life
2. Serving
3. Slowing down
4. Seeking adventure
5. Staying in awe 

Like Jenni, we should all aspire to build the kind of marriage that our children will long to have for themselves. Tune in to this month’s podcast to hear more about what God has done in the lives and marriage of the Graebes, and to explore new ways to grow spiritually as husband and wife.

Click here to learn more about The Rhythm of Us: Create the Thriving Marriage You Long For.